Misunderstood
announcements
Summer newsletter schedule - this summer I’ll be sending just one newsletter per month focused on both our parent and educator/ youth service professional audiences. I’m taking some time to travel both with and without family, and also…
I’m writing a book! I’m weaving together my story as a parent, stories from my mother and grandmother, parenting support, and thoughts on healing intergenerational trauma. AND it will be self-deprecating and funny. Which brings me to a request. Are you a parent who is working on holding on to your cultural wisdom while interrupting harmful cycles? I would love to interview you for my book. Email me ed@villagewellparenting.com
Welcome Minneapolis Conference Attendees
Last week I presented at the National Community Schools and Family Engagement Conference in Minneapolis. A lot of folks signed up for this newsletter, so I’m officially welcoming you to The Village Well community. The conference had great branding and signage, but somehow they missed the boat on my workshop. Here’s my hilarious workshop sign 😂
the heart of the matter
Every May, I brace myself.
For many adopted kids, Mother’s Day is complicated. My older kid (14, nonbinary, they/them) has had a hard time around Mother’s Day every single year since kindergarten. Fights with other kids, doing something sneaky at school; there’s always something. This year, the behavior showed up at home. We were supposed to head out of town to celebrate with my mother-in-law. My kiddo flat-out refused. They said they had plans with friends. They said they didn’t want to be stuck out of town watching YouTube videos of festivals in the Philippines with their grandpa.
I was furious. I’d been looking forward to the trip. My in-laws are up there in age. They don’t have that many Mother's Days left. By refusing to go, my kid was forcing me to stay home too. I let my anger pour out.
I screamed. I called them selfish. I said that they are ruining the weekend for everyone. I yelled that they are constantly putting their own needs above everyone else’s.
They looked at me, eyes filled with tears, and said, "I don’t want to go and celebrate Mother’s Day because I don’t have a mom!"
It was a rare moment of emotional clarity. They were vulnerable, and opened a window into their complicated inner world.
I totally f*^%ed it up.
I told them to stop making excuses. I told them they weren’t the center of the universe. I brushed past their pain because I was drowning in my own. I was so focused on my needs, on my own effort to seize control, that I couldn't hear what they were trying to say.
But here’s the thing I come back to again and again in my work and in my parenting:
We can go back and repair.
Behavior is communication. Even when it’s loud. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it comes out sideways.
And sometimes? We miss it. I missed it.
The next morning, I made us tea and toast. I told them, “I screwed up yesterday. I was angry. I know you’re sad about your birth mom. I wish I could fill that space. You have two dads who love you so much, but I get that sometimes, that’s not enough. I wish I had seen you more clearly yesterday. Can we go out for dinner tonight? Just us?”
They chose our favorite hot pot restaurant. We dipped noodles, Napa cabbage, and wagyu beef into spicy tonkotsu broth. I gave them space to talk if they wanted to. They didn’t take it. But we laughed. We enjoyed each other. And that mattered too.
Sometimes we’re not ready in the moment.
But we can still go back.
We can still see what we missed.
We can still show up differently the next day.
We’re allowed to screw up. The courageous part of parenting is wading into the muck to fix it. This is how we show up. This is how we listen. This is how we show our kids that our love is unshakable.
we’re obsessed with
North of North (Netflix) is a cute, clever, series about a young wife and mother struggling to break through the trappings of traditional gender roles in a small town. It’s a story that’s been told to the point of cliché, but this show finds fresh perspectives in its place and people. The show takes place in the fictional town of Ice Cove - way, way, way up there in Canada’s arctic circle. Anna Lambe portrays Siaja, a young Inuk mother who got married just out of high school, and is trying to figure out what else there is to life. She’s willful, generous, and very awkward, which makes for some damn funny television. Ice Cove is populated by creative and quirky characters, played by a majority of First Nation actors. This show isn’t earth shattering. But it pulled me into a world that I love visiting in 30-minute increments from the warmth of my living room couch. Also the soundtrack is excellent! Note: there is swearing, some sexual scenes without nudity, and one episode called Walrus Dick Baseball.
Isabel Allende has been one of my favorite authors for most of my adult love. I’ve read The House of the Spirits four times. I’m now listening to it on audible while reading her newest novel, My Name Is Emilia del Valle.
I love journalism that mixes personal narrative with top notch research. Where Have All of My Deep Male Friendships Gone? Is a touching piece with elegant writing that meets these criteria. It explores the need for and challenges with male friendship. As a gay man, I couldn’t fully relate to the difficulty of male connection and communication, but I’ve been stymied by the inability to stay that hard thing that needs to be said. It’s a good read or listen.
where we’ve been
Our partnership with the Community Youth Center continued to thrive last month as The Village Well delivered ongoing coaching on including and supporting youth with disabilities and mental health challenges.
We wrapped up our workshop series with BANANAS last month, concluding with the popular "Raising Siblings Without Drama" session!
We shared our expertise on family engagement for young students and their families at the UPK Leadership Institute in San Mateo, an event hosted by the San Mateo County Office of Education.
To commemorate AAPI Heritage Month, we delivered a special Parenting & Cultural Healing workshop for UCSF, exploring the vital connection between cultural identity and well-being in families.
Our workshop series with Mission Graduates wrapped up last month, culminating in a Youth Development Masterclass designed to empower their participants.
Last month, we had the distinct honor of delivering the "Supporting Spirited Kids" workshop at the annual Summer Learning Conference, an event hosted by DCYF. Our session aimed to provide youth development professionals with practical tools and insights for their vital work.
We recently delivered the "Everything You Want to Know About Child Mental Health" workshop for the National Center for Family and Parent Leadership, powered by the Early Childhood Investment Corporation.
In honor of AAPI Heritage Month, we presented our "Parenting with Cultural Wisdom" workshop at Parents Place of the Center for Children and Youth, helping families identify cultural strengths and heal intergenerational patterns for greater joy.
We presented “Teaching with Cultural Wisdom” at the 2025 National Community Schools & Family Engagement Conference in Minneapolis hosted by the Coalition of Community Schools, an initiative of the Institute for Educational Leadership.
Book a workshop for your school or organization.
Bring The Village Well to your school or organization. We provide powerful, interactive and fun workshops for parents and/or staff. Learn more.
Ed Center, the founder of The Village Well, is a parenting coach and educator certified in the Triple P method. The Village Well is a community of parents in BIPOC families, focused on attaining more joy, calm, and meaning in family life. We coach parents to prioritize their own healing and wellness, deepen connections with their kids, and learn tools to support better behavior. Services include Parenting workshops, Parenting courses, and community events. Our support is culturally-grounded support and honors your unique family. Ready to stop yelling? Schedule a free consultation with one of our team members.
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