We Don’t Know Where You Are Going, But You Will Be OK
announcements
The Power of Play: How Occupational Therapy Supports Kids On The Spectrum
Thursday, February 19, 2026 | 12:00 PM to 12:45 PM
Free | Everyone
Is your child or student on the autism spectrum? Discover how Occupational Therapy (OT) can help them master essential life skills in an environment they’ll actually love!
Join us for a special workshop featuring expert Occupational Therapists Sena and Sahana, owners of Development is Child’s Play. They specialize in a play-based approach that allows kids to interact on their own terms using fun tools and structures.
In this session, we’ll cover:
OT Basics: What it is and why it’s a “game-changer” for kids on the spectrum.
The Power of Play: How specialized play structures help develop vital skills.
Funding Your Support: Navigating the financial resources available for OT services.
Whether you are a parent or an educator, come learn how this supportive resource can make a daily difference.
the heart of the matter
Happy Lunar New Year! I hope this year brings health, prosperity, and joy to all of us. But buckle up! The Year of the Fire Horse promises intense energy, passion, and rapid transformation, often leading to significant, sometimes turbulent, global change. Combining fire with the Horse (speed, independence), it fuels a "double fire" intensity that promotes bold actions, pioneering, and career breakthroughs, but may also bring high tempers, impatience, and instability. I’m already the right amount of unstable!
A note: I’m way too Capricorn to believe in any kind of astrology, but the Fire Horse predictions fit nicely with the topic of my newsletter.
In times of turmoil, we need resilience. To me, resilience is a critical collection of traits that help us endure hard shit. Resilience is what keeps me going through difficulty. Resilience is how I’m still here.
Like you, I want to nurture my kids’ resiliency. My sons came to me through the foster care system. They have varied disabilities and challenges. Life has landed some hard punches on them right from the start, and I know that like all of us they will continue to face hard times. It’s my hope that they continue to have the fortitude to endure and navigate the difficult. I hope that like the great philosopher Cardi B, they can declare, “Knock me down nine times but I get up ten!”
But there’s something off about the way we talk about resiliency. Resilience chatter focuses on a set of individual and internal characteristics that help a person bounce back from adversity. In line with American mythology, our overcoming the odds stories focus on personal perseverance and excellence. The athlete who makes it out of the ‘hood and buys his mom a house, the entrepreneur who hears 100 no’s before she finally gets her break. We look to Andrew Carnegie, Oprah Winfrey, Lebron James, and JK Rowling as celebrated stories of triumph from hardship. In these archetypes, resilience is the result of super-human drive, talent, perseverance, and often connected to devoted faith in God.
I’m no Oprah, and I’m not super-human in any way. But I’ve persevered through some tough shit. Those experiences tested me, and yes, I relied on courage and character to make it through. But mostly, I relied on other people. I’ve never tried to get through a tough situation alone - I don’t know how I would do it. When I’m struggling, I pull in a small group of loved ones to support me.
Last week I listened to Melinda French Gates speak on Simon Sinek’s “Bit of Optimism” podcast. She caught my attention when she spoke about going through a very public divorce with ex-husband Bill Gates, “I surrounded myself with people who know how to hold space for me to be uncomfortable. I surrounded myself with good friends who reminded me, ‘We don’t know where you’re going, but you will be OK.”
I played back that last sentence five times.
By definition, resilience requires navigating unchartered territory. We don’t have a clear path forward. We don’t know if we will be successful. We find ourselves face to face with life’s toughest question - should I keep fighting, or is it time to walk away?
Should I keep fighting, or is it time to walk away?
When I was 23, I told my parents I am gay. It took a lot of courage. But I wasn’t alone. I had a boyfriend and I had a community of close friends. I had already come out to my high school friends who knew my parents and assured me it was going to be fine. When my son’s mental health collapsed during the pandemic, I felt so alone and scared. But I wasn’t. We had community. Even if they couldn’t be physically present, they showed up in creative ways to offer support. To say, “we are still here.” To say, “We don’t know where you’re going, but you will be OK.”
My kids have big feelings and big behaviors. They go cataclysmic over events that are just bummers to me. They serve big Fire Horse energy. I spend a lot of time trying to build their skills in frustration tolerance, reducing reactivity, and persisting through hard things. This is important parenting work, but I’m going to expand my thinking. The most important part of their resiliency is a solid community. That’s what’s going to get them through the pain points of life.
Last weekend, my niece slept over. I got to witness my teenage son have teenage fun with his cousin. They watched scary movies, baked cookies, and stayed up until 3am. They’ve been close their entire lives, and now at 14 and 19, they still relish in each other’s company. This relationship is resilience in action. My hope is that they continue to show up for each other, through scary movies and scary heartbreaks, sweet cookies and bitter moments, always reaffirming, "I don't know where you are going, but I will be here, and you will be OK.”
Be Well!
ed
a story of hope
The Latino community collectively lost its damn mind during Bad Bunny’s super bowl performance. I thought it was a good performance but I didn’t completely catch the magic. My best friend Afira - a fantastic writer and Puerto Rican power house - set me straight with her excellent post on Substack. She describes, “What we watched was not a halftime show. It was a sermon. A thesis. A beautifully choreographed act of resistance wrapped in rhythm, sweat, and audacity.” Preach, Sister. By the way, her blog “Single In These Streets” is a highlight of my week when it shows up in my inbox. It documents the often hilarious and true travails of being newly single as a woman of a certain age. Think Sex in the City, if Carrie had curves, street smarts, and zero f—s to give.
my regular rant against screen time
It looks like Spain may soon follow Australia’s lead in banning social media for kids under 16. Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez recently announced the plan, calling platforms “failed states” where algorithms have run amok at the expense of our kids’ mental health. America, can we do the same? I mean it’s not like we are beholden to the tech giants are we?
🤦🏽♂️
we’re obsessed with
In elementary school, I relished the writing of James Herriot. His misadventures as a farm veterinarian in the English countryside transported me across the world from my tropical suburb. I opened a frayed and yellow copy at my parents’ house last month, and got lost in that sweet, simple, world for hours. In a time of turmoil his stories are a delightful escape. I’m introducing these to both my sons, starting with All Creatures Great and Small.
Broccoli with soy sauce. My 9 year old is a reluctant vegetable eater. I often hand feed him broccoli at dinner to make sure it gets into his gut. The other night the clouds parted, and angels sang as we discovered that a little soy sauce transforms broccoli into a delicacy. He ate five pieces. Later, he requested more from the bathtub. It’s safe to say this culinary innovation will be on high rotation on the Center dining table.
Sportsmanship. Team USA is having a tough go at the Olympics. Many favored athletes have faced their moment of golden glory and literally fallen flat. The media had prematurely (and unfairly) crowned Ilia Malinin as the GOAT until he produced his worst performance of the last three years and slid into 8th place. But did you watch as the cameras kept rolling? As the scores were announced and his dream lay in pieces on the ice, he walked over to the unexpected gold medal winner, Mikhail Shaidorov, of Kazakhstan, and gave him a hug and sincere congratulations.
Ice dancers Madison Chock and Evan Bates did the same thing when they lost to their French rivals in a controversial judging decision.
Snowboarding icon Chloe Kim fell on her last try, losing the gold to her protege Gaon Choi from South Korea. The way Chloe reacted, you would’ve thought they tied for gold. She covered her competitor with bear hugs, kisses, and big smiles.
These heroes may not have produced their greatest athletic moments when it mattered. But I was so proud how they met the moment with class, grace, and pure sportsmanship. As a parent, I couldn’t help but think - your mama raised your right!
where we’ve been
Our partnership with CYC continued this month through a series of workshops and coaching sessions. We’re focused on giving the team the real-world support they need to feel confident, equipped, and ready to take on their vital work with fresh energy.
We wrapped up The Mindful Resilience Series for DCYF this month. Our final session focused on Integration and Action Planning, ensuring the team can turn these insights into lasting, everyday habits.
This month, we hosted the Building Positive Parent-Child Relationships workshop for the Bananas community. It was a deep dive into the essentials: strengthening emotional connections and giving parents the tools to build more communicative, supportive families.
Book a workshop for your school or organization
Bring The Village Well to your school or organization. We provide powerful, interactive and fun workshops for parents and/or staff. Learn more
Ed Center, the founder of The Village Well, is a parenting coach and educator certified in the Triple P method. The Village Well is a community of parents in BIPOC families, focused on attaining more joy, calm, and meaning in family life. We coach parents to prioritize their own healing and wellness, deepen connections with their kids, and learn tools to support better behavior. Services include Parenting workshops, Parenting courses, and community events. Our support is culturally-grounded support and honors your unique family. Ready to stop yelling? Schedule a free consultation with one of our team members.
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